C H I N D O G U
Hey, why are the Japanese just sooooo cool?
They have Chindogu!
What the hell is a Chindogu?
The Japanese word Chindogu literally means an odd or distorted tool.
It's an almost useless invention, a bizarre gadget that has broken free from the chains
of usefulness. Chindogu are inventions that seem like they're going to make
life a lot easier, but don't...
First example: The Hay Fever Hat
Running out of hankies while suffering from hay fever is true hell. This great hat
allows you to sneeze from dawn till dusk. Completely pointless and truly avantgarde.
The Ten Tenets of Chindogu
- A Chindogu cannot be for real use
- A Chindogu must exist
- Inherent in every Chindogu is the spirit of anarchy
- Chindogu are tools for everyday life
- Chindogu are not for sale
- Humor must not be the sole reason for creating a Chindogu
- Chindogu is not propaganda
- Chindogu are never taboo
- Chindogu cannot be patented
- Chindogu are without prejudice
Selected Chindogu
- Back Scratcher's T-Shirt
The partner who offers to scratch your back is a friend indeed. Except it all goes
horribly wrong when they just can't seem to locate the maddening itch. The hand-held
miniature grid-map allows accurate scratch-target specification.
- Sweetheart's Training Arm
Allows the novice sweatheart to hold onto this simulated appendage in early stages
of courting, without the worry of sweaty palms, inappropriate pressure, or when to
disengage. One of my favorite Chindogu.
- Finger-mounted Toothbrush
For perfect sensitivity in oral hygiene. Also great for travelling.
- Wide Awake Eyeopener
For the stressed student who doesn't want to use caffeine or other stay-awake
pharmaceuticals to keep awake.
- Portable Office Tie
Finally the essential accessory of the businessman's uniform, the neck tie, is of
practical use.
- Earplug Earrings
Blocks out the beat of blaring discos without being unhip.
- Heavy Smoker's Mask
Smoke fourteen whole cigarettes in the time it would normally take to smoke one! Allows
you to reduce your cigarette breaks.
- Eye Drop Funnel Glasses
Why is the application of eye-drops so problematic? You open your eyes wide,
stare straight up at a bulging droplet, squeeze the bottle, and wait for gravity to do its job.
Yet the next sensation you have is of the cool expensive medicine trickling down the
side of your face...These specially customized glasses guarantee no-more-tears eye
drop application.
- Hair Ego Booster
Leave home without hair, but with confidence. Look in the shaving mirror every morning
and see a man with a lovely head of hair? Well now you can.
- Daddy Nurser
This Chindogu challenges one of the last bastions of sexual inequality, and
allows Father to experience the joy of nourishing his baby from his own body - almost.
- Subway Sleeper's Screen
This one addresses several anxieties of the underground snoozer: Firstly it conceals
his or her identity, hides an open mouth, and even goes some way towards muffling
the sound of snoring. Secondly it masks the area that would be in view it the sleeper
has fallen asleep with legs wide apart. Thirdly, the screen is emblazoned with the name
of the station where you need to alight, so helpful fellow passengers can wake you up
in time.
- Fish Face Cover
Too many modern home cooks feel unable to look a dead fish in the eye. This cover helps
you to get the fish cut up with minimum emotional trauma.
- Detachable Tooth Covers
Save brushing after every meal.
>RETURN TO THE LIVING ROOM
The Ten Tenets of Chindogu
Selected Chindogu
The partner who offers to scratch your back is a friend indeed. Except it all goes horribly wrong when they just can't seem to locate the maddening itch. The hand-held miniature grid-map allows accurate scratch-target specification.
Allows the novice sweatheart to hold onto this simulated appendage in early stages of courting, without the worry of sweaty palms, inappropriate pressure, or when to disengage. One of my favorite Chindogu.
For perfect sensitivity in oral hygiene. Also great for travelling.
For the stressed student who doesn't want to use caffeine or other stay-awake pharmaceuticals to keep awake.
Finally the essential accessory of the businessman's uniform, the neck tie, is of practical use.
Blocks out the beat of blaring discos without being unhip.
Smoke fourteen whole cigarettes in the time it would normally take to smoke one! Allows you to reduce your cigarette breaks.
Why is the application of eye-drops so problematic? You open your eyes wide, stare straight up at a bulging droplet, squeeze the bottle, and wait for gravity to do its job. Yet the next sensation you have is of the cool expensive medicine trickling down the side of your face...These specially customized glasses guarantee no-more-tears eye drop application.
Leave home without hair, but with confidence. Look in the shaving mirror every morning and see a man with a lovely head of hair? Well now you can.
This Chindogu challenges one of the last bastions of sexual inequality, and allows Father to experience the joy of nourishing his baby from his own body - almost.
This one addresses several anxieties of the underground snoozer: Firstly it conceals his or her identity, hides an open mouth, and even goes some way towards muffling the sound of snoring. Secondly it masks the area that would be in view it the sleeper has fallen asleep with legs wide apart. Thirdly, the screen is emblazoned with the name of the station where you need to alight, so helpful fellow passengers can wake you up in time.
Too many modern home cooks feel unable to look a dead fish in the eye. This cover helps you to get the fish cut up with minimum emotional trauma.
Save brushing after every meal.